Metformin, month 1; the catch up.

Yes, I've been off the radar. For many reason really, that I wont go in to, but I'm back with a bang.

I'm now currently into month two of my metformin cycle but I'll bring you up to speed with month one first.

The nightmare began;

Having previously been on metformin [ a six month cycle three years ago] I had memories of what to expect. I knew I would be sick, I knew I would have mood swings and I knew it wouldn't be pleasant. Knowing all this didn't prepare me though.

The first week was manageable, no huge changes to me or my hormones. By week two I had become the anti-Christ. The nauseousness was horrible, the mood swings almost unbearable; but I was determined. I would make it to three pills a day.

By week three I needed help.

I knew it wasn't therapy I needed; yes I was emotional and depressed but I knew this was due to the hormonal change. I considered ringing the fertilty clinic but I knew they would either suggest I stop taking the pills or reduce the dosage and our chances are better the higher the dosage. Knowing all this, I did the only think I could think of, I engaged the services of a Life Coach. I know you are thinking, what the hell? But I needed help. It's not that James or my family wasn't going it to me, they just weren't giving me the kind of help I needed. I needed something they couldn't offer; an objective ear, something you are your family don't have when you're going through this.

Luckily for me I already knew the perfect Life Coach, she having been my Business Coach while I ran my company. I mad the call, the very teary call and slowly things improved.

By week four things were still tough, but I was getting there.

Talking to someone removed from the situation helped a great deal. I was still sick and moody but I knew there was, and I could see the end. I just had to hang in there.

3 months of Meds!

So my prescription for Metformin is in the pharmacy, I got the call this evening, Ill collect tomorrow.

Am nervous.

I'm to start week 1 with 1 tablet, increase to 2 and then hopefully be able to stand 3 by the third week. Am staying positive and hoping that this staggered approach will work.

I was a little concerned

When the nurse asked me to contact them towards the end of the second month so that they could arrange the IVF procedure. She seemed confused when I explained I wasn't having IVF, at least not yet. I explained to her that the [good] Doctor thinks insulin is the problem, hence the metformin.

I could be pregnant,

Inside the next 3 months, pregnant, both a scary and exhilarating thought.

Wish me luck!

Metformin for me!

The good Doctor and I stopped playing phone tag this afternoon and actually got to talk to each other! Albeit it was difficult to hear him as I was driving and the car kit is just not great, but we had a conversation none the less.

Insulin is my problem.

So he says. I only got the jest, but he is putting me on metformin. I've been here before, 3 years ago in fact, a different Doctor, but the same meds. However, apparently this time it will work, he says, dosage and diet is the key, according to him. Am sceptical but willing to try.

A 3 month supply - enough for a baby?

Well I suppose we'll find out... its all I'm getting, initially anyways. Optimistically I could say that I will be giving everyone an extra special Christmas present, news of a baby, but perhaps that is getting my hopes up too much.

Time will tell...

Wish us luck!

Imagine from taiwanease.com

Procrastinating: Still haven't booked the fasting blood tests.

I know, I know. My own fault again. It's me circa 2007; knowing exactly what needs to be done and sticking my head in the sand.

I think it's because I'm scared. I've a feeling I wont get the answer I am hoping for from these blood tests and I don't know where that will lead so I do nothing.

Not a way forward I know, but hey, its taken me 3 years to get this far...

Need a big push... must make appointment on Monday * bites nails * - think I need a Drill Sargent - any takers?

Insulin might not be the problem afterall.

At our first appoint with the IVF Clinic the Doctor explained that he was [almost] sure that my aggravated PCOS symptoms and infertility was down to an in balance in Insulin or Insulin Resistance. I'm booked in for fastening blood tests to confirm this.

However

As I was at my GP's during the week I decided to ask if I ever had this type of blood test before. I had. AND the results were normal.

I am devastated.

I will still go ahead and have the fasting blood tests at the Sims Clinic and see but I don't think my treatment is going to be as easy as diet, exercise and medication after all.

Staying positive...

Our First appointment with the IVF Clinic

I was a bag of nerves, good nerves, excited nerves; but a bag of nerves none the less.

We got there early,

About 30 minutes early but headed in regardless. It's nice there, clinical but nice. Plenty to do in the waiting room; tv, teas and coffee, computers, games etc. Don't ask me why but I was surprised to see the waiting room full of other couples. All stone faced, I smiled at some but they weren't very welcoming - is it that IVF apts are not PC... even when you're all there for the same reasons?

Our Doctor is lovely.

Such a nice man. He even phoned me this morning. He was not supposed to be the Doctor we were to meet and called to make sure we were happy to meet him - so we would have no surprises. [How Sweet].

A very long chat

Ensued in his office were we talked all about my medical history, my PCOS, PCOS in general and possible treatments and options that we would have and face. He was very thorough, spoke alot of since and for the first time in years I feel like someone is actually listening and interested in helping us. All in all a very positive consultation.

I rather painful procedure

When I told him that I haven't had a period since Oct 07 he grew a little concerned and thought it odd that no-one had ever thought to question or investigate this before. Which made sense when he said it. As a result I had an Endometrial [sp?] Biopsy. Not a pleasant experience at all.

I forgot to mention the Tumour

The one I've had for years in my right ovary. When he did the ultrasound he got quite a shock. And for the second time he asked why no-one had questioned/ investigated or removed it. Simply; before, no-one ever seemed concerned or interested in it.

My prognosis

You may be forgiven for thinking that my prognosis would be rather grey after all that but you would be wrong. The [very] good Doctor is quietly positive that insulin my be my fiend and the root to all my problems! He is of the educated [guess] opinion at the moment that once regulated and controlled through a combination of diet, exercise and medication I may very well be all to conceive naturally.

A blood test

Will confirm all this, and fingers crossed making babies might not be as 'test tubey' as we thought!

Your Health is Your Wealth!

I'm fine, better than fine, there is nothing wrong!

For those of you who read regularly you'll be aware that for 2 weeks my appointment with a plastic surgeon has hung over me like a guillotine.

Thankfully I don't have skin cancer.

After a thorough investigation by a charming Doctor he declared all my lumps and bumps totally normal and nothing to worry about. [ I'll be having some stern words with my GP I can tell you after that fright!]

Biopsies not even required!

I will be having a procedure called 'Mole Mapping' done in the near future so that they can more accurately keep an eye on everything and so that I will have a reference point for the future, but other than that I can relax - relief in me is palpable!

Next focus...

Tomorrow's appointment with the IVF Clinic, they've already called to confirm and I've checked the directions - very excited!!

Shocked: Today I made an appointment with a Plastic Surgeon

It's not what you might think; this is not a vain attempt to improve myself or expedite my weight loss with lipo. This an appointment I thought I might never make.

Really Worried.

I went to the doctor yesterday; my GP, because I've been worried about some growths on my back. I've been going to the doctor for years and there has never really been anything wrong with me. God...

I wasn't going to waste the €55.00

On the Doctor's visit but I thought, at least it will put my mind at rest coming into the summer. My Doctor took it very seriously [I know I should be glad of this] but...

I left as white as a ghost.

I might have skin cancer... I'm seeing a Consultant Plastic Surgeon in a week and a half for 3 Excision Biopsies. Fear doesn't even cover it.

I thought my biggest challenge this summer would be getting pregnant.

Please pray for me.