I'm just painting the house!

My friend's say I am nesting, that I am not telling them something but really, I'm just painting the house. Ok, and replacing some tired furniture and considering an extension. But I AM NOT nesting.

At least I don't think I am.

Sure the goal right now is to get pregnant, or at the very least try. And we are trying. We have been for three years now. Which hasn't been without its trials & tribulations; First my body got in the way. Then it was my hormones. Then it was my emotions. Then it wasn't time. Then it was time. We attend the fertility clinic. I take the meds. He puts his back out. Then I paint. [Well then I hire someone to paint.]

So really, I am just painting the house.

Metformin, month 1; the catch up.

Yes, I've been off the radar. For many reason really, that I wont go in to, but I'm back with a bang.

I'm now currently into month two of my metformin cycle but I'll bring you up to speed with month one first.

The nightmare began;

Having previously been on metformin [ a six month cycle three years ago] I had memories of what to expect. I knew I would be sick, I knew I would have mood swings and I knew it wouldn't be pleasant. Knowing all this didn't prepare me though.

The first week was manageable, no huge changes to me or my hormones. By week two I had become the anti-Christ. The nauseousness was horrible, the mood swings almost unbearable; but I was determined. I would make it to three pills a day.

By week three I needed help.

I knew it wasn't therapy I needed; yes I was emotional and depressed but I knew this was due to the hormonal change. I considered ringing the fertilty clinic but I knew they would either suggest I stop taking the pills or reduce the dosage and our chances are better the higher the dosage. Knowing all this, I did the only think I could think of, I engaged the services of a Life Coach. I know you are thinking, what the hell? But I needed help. It's not that James or my family wasn't going it to me, they just weren't giving me the kind of help I needed. I needed something they couldn't offer; an objective ear, something you are your family don't have when you're going through this.

Luckily for me I already knew the perfect Life Coach, she having been my Business Coach while I ran my company. I mad the call, the very teary call and slowly things improved.

By week four things were still tough, but I was getting there.

Talking to someone removed from the situation helped a great deal. I was still sick and moody but I knew there was, and I could see the end. I just had to hang in there.

Filling out the application form for the IVF Clinic

6 Pages of Personal Information

They want to know everything! Which I suppose shouldn't be surprising. Still its hammered home to us again how 'public' making a baby is going to be for us.

This is the part that's always caused me problems.

Making babies is supposed to be private, personal, intimate. At leasts thats what we're all led to believe. I suppose the 'publicness' of its all is where most of my anger came from and why for 3 years we pretty much did nothing and I spent most of it in therapy trying to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to concieve the way I always thought.

I feel better.

Now that I've made the call, received the pack, watched the DVD [yes they sent us a DVD] and filled out the form. I've come to terms with it now; at the end of the day the end result will be the same and we'll have a baby, thats what counts.

What is on the DVD?

This is a question I would be wondering! I was surprised to see it there in the folder when it arrived but it was great. You got to 'meet' and see most of the staff, hear them describe what they do and what to expect. If showed the Clinic itself, which is lovely and comfortable; which to me, was important. The showed practical things like location, what the building looked like and parking - all things I know I would have stressed about on the way there.

Where do we go from here?

Well today we post the application back and wait for them to call with an appointment. We should be there within 6-8 weeks for our first consultation!! We're getting a bit excited!!

Wish us luck!